1. What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1966)
Overall: 2
Quality: 2
Allen first garnered funding for a weird little experiment in which he dubbed over an old Asian film with comedic voices. There are distinct comedic moments but he had little control over the final edit, and what should have been a nose-thumbing parody came out as an awkward pile of nothing.
2. Take The Money And Run (1969)
Overall: 5
Quality: 3
Directed by, written by, and starring: Mr Woody Allen. The first outing of a bumbling thief (followed up in 2000) which defined large portions of his film persona. It is distinctive as a creative though sophomoric effort, and tolerated as silly rather than celebrated as funny.
3. Bananas (1971)
Overall: 6
Quality: 2
Allen plays a man who, through no fault of his own, becomes dictator of a banana republic. America's series of bumbling Cold War cloak-and-dagger incursions into Cuba was topical, and the film skims rather pleasantly along. Nothing he made until 'Annie Hall' had much of a budget, but the clear lack of funds here simply adds to the fun.
4. Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask) (1972)
Overall: 3
Quality: 3
You feel sorry for the teenagers who sneaked into this film in 1972; sexual education is promised, but is not delivered. The overall style—a series of extended sketches—is reminiscent of a Monty Python episode which didn't quite connect the dots, inspiring more cringing than enjoyment.
5. Sleeper (1973)
Overall: 2
Quality: 3
Allen falls asleep for centuries and awakens in the quasi-future-tastic world of tomorrow. The premise has promise for precisely ten minutes, only to be squandered by dull plotting and lousy editing. The yesteryear protoganist is stuck shambling around labs and peering into fibreglass cars while the tale he travelled to tell remains untold.
6. Love and Death (1975)
Overall: 8
Quality: 7
The best of Allen's pure comedies has him as a Russian peasant besotted with his cousin, played by Diane Keaton. His unrequited passion is interrupted by Napoleon and a severe case of philosophy. As he is blasted around battlefields (and at one point, from a cannon), drawing rooms, duels, and stately homes, the neurotic and cowardly Allen plays brilliantly off Keaton in screwball comedy patter to rival anything in the genre.
7. Annie Hall (1977)
Overall: 8
Quality: 6
Woody Allen is now so precisely associated with New York you might walk ten blocks south of Central Park before finding a building which has not appeared in one of his films, but this was not always so. 'Annie Hall' was his first foray into a particular microculture, and could not have been made anywhere else. Paired with Diane Keaton in the most credible of Allen's onscreen romances, the film plays out melodically with lightly-cut montages and brooding, heavy scenes; the New York dweller is shot late in the piece sitting forlorn, dwarfed by a glaring Californian expanse. With all-too-brief cameos by Christopher Walken and Jeff Goldblum.
8. Interiors(1978)
Overall: 5
Quality: 7
Best described as an flat-out homage to Ingmar Bergman, Allen pulls on loose threads that would unravel more fully in decades to come. Three daughters come to terms with their mother's new beau and, by extension, the unfurling of their smooth, dull little family. The film stars long passages of quiet despair, with occasional appearances by people.
9. Manhattan (1979)
Overall: 7
Quality: 7
A patient portrait of New York. Allen finds himself divorced by a lesbian and dating a high-school girl when he meets Diane Keaton's bundle of neuroses. Their eventual entanglement is entertaining and made more pleasant by the Manhattan scenery, which deserves at least an assistant producer credit.
10. Stardust Memories (1980)
Overall: 6
Quality: 7
Can a film feel like a sigh? This graceful and gently-paced story of a man falling in love is unafraid to hold a long, long shot. Charlotte Rampling is the figure and Allen as a rueful director is the ground, with the chattering hubbub of fans and traffic and music as an ever-present backdrop.
11. A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982)
Overall: 3
Quality: 4
A throwaway little film which, while unmistakably Allen, replaces thrust and desire with dawdling and neuroticism. Allen and Keaton host two former paramours in their farmhouse and drift gently into an aimless parody of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'. Instructive only in explaining why there are no Jewish porn stars.
12. Zelig (1983)
Overall: 7
Quality: 4
A mock documentary about a man who is superlatively, but helplessly, adept at mimicry. Pitched somewhere between a Freudian character study and a British sketch comedy, the film skewers all the tropes of the genre while making sly points of its own. At times laugh-out-loud funny, at others bemusingly ludicrous, it is an oddball film confidently made.
13. Broadway Danny Rose (1984)
Overall: 4
Quality: 5
A snapshot of a talent agency turns into a low-wattage caper. Allen begins as a likeable agent, struggling to promote balloon-folders, parrot handlers, and lounge-singing palookas. Sadly the plot shrugs off such whimsy as it descends into a mire of poorly-made action sequences and the natural consequences of hideous casting decisions, lurching violently from parody to farce.
14. The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
Overall: 8
Quality: 8
Mia Farrow's winsome screen presence is elevated to high art in a film that blurs the lines between fantasy and reality. On her fifth viewing of a Jazz Era flick, the hero steps from the screen and takes her away from all this, throwing the cast into panic and the town into an uproar. Allen orchestrates the chaos with a cool grace, turning a one-trick story into a delightful and wistful tale.
15. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
Overall: 6
Quality: 6
Michael Caine's midlife crisis dominates the first reel as his staid '80s banker craves wife Hannah's youngest sister. Middle sister Dianne Wiest is a general-purpose failure, and Allen's hypochondriac shtick provides a reassuring backdrop. Typical Woody fare, with plenty of anxiety to go around.
16. Radio Days (1987)
Overall: 5
Quality: 7
Not many directors would get funding to make a film about the golden days of radio. So far, it's just Woody Allen and Garrison Keillor. Allen builds up a world by ticking all the boxes of NostalgiaVision: rich folks, working-class battlers, a mad uncle, and a kooky kid in the midst of it all. It won awards; it made no money.
17. September (1987)
Overall: 3
Quality: 3
'September ' is notable only for the fact that after filming it was entirely re-shot with a different cast, making it both the second and the third film Allen made in 1987. It has no pulse, and fades into the fabric of '80s made-for-TV dramas. Not even bad.
18. Another Woman (1988)
Overall: 6
Quality: 5
A surprisingly sharp drama with the immediacy of a stage play. This iteration of middle-aged infidelity is yanked out of its rut by the engaging performances of Gene Hackman, Gena Rowlands, and Ian Holm. (Also featuring Mia Farrow as the main character.) Best viewed after turning 40.
19. New York Stories (1989)
Overall: 3
Quality: 5
Martin Scorsese, Francis Ford Coppola, and Woody Allen divide a reel between them with three forgettable stories which all happen to occur in New York. Allen's chapter tells of a man who doesn't care much for his mother. It's easy to see why, but hard to care.
20. Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
Overall: 5
Quality: 6
The main storyline in 'Crimes and Misdemeanors', an eye doctor who wants to kill Anjelica Huston, is hand-wringingly dull. We have all wanted to kill Anjelica Huston at some time in our lives, but we didn't make a big deal out of it. The B-plot, in which Allen is required to document Alan Alda's life, is far more promising. Fortunately, DVDs have a fast-forward button.
21. Alice (1990)
Overall: 2
Quality: 4
Mia Farrow is front and centre as a Manhattan housewife who goes from being metaphorically invisible to being literally invisible. It's a weak premise and it plays out dully, no thanks to an underused supporting cast and a stiflingly beige colour scheme.
22. Shadows and Fog (1991)
Overall: 4
Quality: 6
Jack the Ripper roams the misty streets of a claustrophobic town, with a circus at one end and a cathouse at the other. Shuttling between them are ageing sword-swallower Mia Farrow, her clown boyfriend John Malkovitch and the usual gamut of character actors, all bustles and frowns. Little happens to anyone except John Cusack, who plays the wealthiest university student in history.
23. Husbands and Wives (1992)
Overall: 7
Quality: 7
The characters are complex and at no point take pains to make us comfortable. The first reel is dominated by the howling vortexes of Judy Davis and Mia Farrow, who inhabit their marriages like piranhas might inhabit petting zoos.
Well-chewed, Allen raises an eyebrow at student Juliette Lewis. His fellow fodder Sydney Pollack reaches for an aerobics instructor. The film shuttles neatly between the couplings and uncouplings with a pleasing grace, and the film unfolds into a warm character study.
24. Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)
Overall: 2
Quality: 4
A too-old-for-movies Diane Keaton drags this plot along like an unwilling child as a woman who suspects her elderly neighbour has been killed. Brief moments of Alan Alda offer respite, but periods of Anjelica Huston yank it down again.
25. Bullets Over Broadway (1994)
Overall: 8
Quality: 6
Recalling the great 1934 classic '20th Century', Allen's period piece guides us through the smoky and alluring backrooms of Broadway theatre. John Cusack is a playwright hired by gangster Nick Valenti to write his gal Olive into a Broadway production. Jenifer Tilly is great as Olive, but it is Chazz Palminteri who steals the show as a henchman with hidden talents. A film both fun and fluent.
26. Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
Overall: 6
Quality: 6
Backed by a full Greek chorus, Allen's Lenny Weinrib tries to convince the mother of his adopted son to stop turning tricks. Mira Sorvina proves, partly with an Academy Award, that a hooker is the easiest part to play, though the film rolls along nicely regardless. The Greek tragedian interludes add another layer to the plot; it may be the only time twelve people have uttered,"Lenny, don't be a schmuck!" in unison in a Sicilian amphitheatre.
27. Everyone Says I Love You (1996)
Overall: 5
Quality: 7
A musical with a stable of names, and true to form, everyone says 'I love you.' More than say it, they sing it and they dance it. Allen's neurotic character seems hunched and reedy amongst the high-wattage actors and flowery words, and he directs with a less than steady hand, making the film tentative where it should be brazen, skeptical when it should be devout. Allen is clearly fascinated with the genre, but has no ability to dwell within it; he presents here that rarest of beasts, a hesitant musical.
28. Deconstructing Harry (1997)
Overall: 4
Quality: 6
You hear of studios adding stars to revive a bad script, but this elevates the practice to high farce: Kirstie Alley, Demi Moore, Robin Williams, and seven other headliners perform CPR on the story with baseball bats. Allen is a writer who transliterates his friends wholesale into his latest book. Hilarity, we are told, ensues.
29. Celebrity (1998)
Overall: 4
Quality: 8
Kenneth Branagh stands in for Allen in a beautifully shot but ultimately unsatisfying tale. A journalist staggers from woman to woman, each given time to enact brief stereotypes. Interesting cameos, no story.
30. Sweet and Lowdown (1999)
Overall: 6
Quality: 5
An unusual, smooth saga driven largely by a charismatic Sean Penn as guitarist Emmett Ray and his mute, Farrow-like shadow played by Samantha Morton. It was a departure for Penn; Johnny Depp was originally slated to play the moody bluesman. The result is a film with soul and momentum, and is the equal of 'Ray', 'Walk the Line', and other films mining the rich vein of Southern authenticity.
31. Small Time Crooks (2000)
Overall: 3
Quality: 5
If Allen hadn't started pulling from his back catalogue before, he certainly was now. His early years were filled with scripts he couldn't get produced, and bits and pieces of them began showing up in his later work. 'Small Time Crooks' continues the tale of his second film's bumbling thief, with similarly dismal results for the viewer.
32. The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)
Overall: 3
Quality: 6
The director cast himself (at 65) opposite Charlize Theron (at 25) in a heist film which strained credulity at every turn. Allen has expressed regrets about the decision and referred to the film as one of his worst. Best to take his word for it, though Theron is pleasant, if a little jumpy.
33. Hollywood Ending (2002)
Overall: 3
Quality: 5
Allen turns his irony meter up to 11 as he stars as a has-been director who develops a severe case of blindness while filming a stressful production. Tea Leoni is as disappointing as always, and a rag-tag bunch of regulars turn in regulation performances.
34. Anything Else (2003)
Overall: 2
Quality: 5
Jason Biggs of bumbling 'American Pie' fame is Allen's surrogate for a miserable little sham of a film in which a put-upon New Yorker is jerked around by a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, played to the hilt by Christina Ricci. Allen appears as a shambling sage, offering the mildest of advice to Biggs' castrated Casanova.
35. Melinda and Melinda (2004)
Overall: 2
Quality: 7
It was about this point that critics began to wonder if Allen would ever make another good film. Radha Mitchell plays Melinda in alternate realities, one blonde and drugged, the other brunette and neurotic. The ensemble cast could not prevent the parallel dinner party scenes from collapsing under their own weight.
36. Match Point (2005)
Overall: 6
Quality: 9
The first of three films starring Scarlett Johannson: the story picks up the sonorous tones of its English surroundings, but false notes are apparent. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers smoulders steadily, giving Johannson ample opportunity to light her cigarettes. It's a strange film for Allen, not least because the cast is under 30, and it is driven less by drama than curiosity; where's he going with this?
37. Scoop (2006)
Overall: 3
Quality: 7
An elderly Allen appears to have wandered through the shot. It gradually dawns on the viewer that he is the leading man. Oh dear.
38. Cassandra's Dream (2007)
Overall: 3
Quality: 7
A difficult little tale of two brothers, one emotional, the other cerebral. Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell's characters look to lift themselves from the workaday world with an unspeakable assignment, from which point the movie falls to pieces. An uncomfortable and unnecessary production.
39. Vicky, Christina, Barcelona (2008)
Overall: 7
Quality: 7
Another Woody-free film. Pals Scarlett Johansson and Rebecca Hall are tripping lightly around Barcelona when they meet knotty Spaniard Javier Bardem. Gradually gravity sinks into their holiday fun until the film is knee-deep in commitment, cohabitation and the odd gunfight. The tale is lightly told, and the gossamer layers slowly build into a beautiful story.
