Wednesday, 17 October 2007

The Calgary Labour Pool

There are two huge industries in Alberta: oil and construction. The two requirements for these fields are:
(1) showing up in the morning
not wedded to the idea of keeping all of your fingers.
The gravitational pull of these two skilless areas has left customer service with a dearth of applicants; everywhere are signs reading,
"Hiring Now All Positions", "Apply For Careers At Sears", "Signing Bonus Staff Discount".
Standards are dropping. Consider this ad on Craigslist:

Looking for part time work? Like to work evenings and weekends? Want some extra hours with a second job? Value Village is looking for enthusiastic, energetic individuals to join our team at our Chinook and Midnapore stores!!!!
What you offer:
Hand-eye coordination to sort, grasp, and staple.
Pushing and pulling.
Ability to distinguish colors and clothing sizes.
Be able to stand, bend and crouch for long periods of time.
Ability to perform basic math calculations.
Pushing and pulling Up to 100 lbs depending on department.
Ability to read and write.
Repetitive use of hands and grasping items.

They appear to be extending their eligibility to the higher apes.

Alberta fails to grasp a simple economic principle: the Law of Supply and Demand.
MANAGER: I can't find employees! Wanna work here?
MAN ON STREET: Well, how much does it pay?
MANAGER: Nine dollars before tax. Same as always.
MAN ON STREET: Screw you. I can get twice that swinging a crowbar.
MANAGER: Oooohhh, go on.
MANAGER: Pleeeeaaase. Look, I made a sign and everything.
MANAGER: Well, I'm fresh out of ideas.

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