Tuesday, 22 January 2008

Canadian Girls

In answer to Warwick's request (actually, multiple requests) to know what Canadian girls are like, here's a brief run-down.

Canadian girls are like every other goddamn group of millions of women anywhere in the world.

With that out of the way, I can say that, having served thousands of Canadians in Calgary, the women around here are:
1) married by 25
2) usually attractive if working 9 to 5
3) usually strange-looking if unemployed
4) slimmer than Kiwi girls
5) far less dumpy than English girls
6) nice, if slightly lacking in edge.

In Toronto, because of the universities and the magnetic pull from the rest of Canada, the women are consistently, distressingly attractive, particularly downtown. In Calgary, it is difficult to tell men from women during the tightly-swaddled winter months (October to March).

In my experience, Canadian women can look like this:

...and are nice and intelligent.

Or they can look like this:

...and be borderline psychotic, with a certain animal cunning.

So if you come to Canada with the intent of searching for and obtaining their women, bring (a) hair gel and an encyclopedia, and (b) bear spray.

1 comment:

wazz said...

haha great article, cheers for the low down on the canadian beauties.

seriously you could get ok paying temp admin work in vancouver and there are more girls and warmer, you should try it, nothing wrong with office support, its what i friggin did for three years. pays the bills and a little bit less crushing on the soul...