Saturday, 15 March 2008

My Racist Right Eye

I've got something wrong with my eye.
A few days ago, one of the muscles under my right eye began to jerk occasionally. It's the kind of thing you would expect to see when a drill sergeant, frozen in unbelieving fury, is about to go completely nuts.
I think it's a result of late nights, a poor diet, and an odd work schedule. Reading a computer screen a lot wouldn't have helped much. This would all be fairly benign if it weren't for the fact that I interact with thousands of people every day. The twitching increases with stress; on my breaks it may only be at two beats per minute, but when I'm serving a customer it can go up to 120, or twice a second.

A white customer, that is.

When a black guy comes up to the counter, my eye goes into overdrive. I must look like a tweaked accountant, talking in a regular voice while one eye spasms like Steven Hawking when he's on a rag about black holes. I was standing next to a black guy on the train... thank god he was on my left, because had he been on my right, he would have inched away for fear of catching localised epilepsy.

I hope this goes away before I get to Vegas. If I get black jack, everyone would take one look at me and fold.

I've tried contacting my travel agent to get details about my medical insurance, which cost in excess of $1000. I am yet to hear back.

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